By Grabthar's Hammer, ye football gods, we beseech you
Posted October 23rd, 2007 by j0chen24
Football gods, hear our prayer
May we enjoy victory this week over the visiting University of Pittsburgh Panthers.
May the weather prove favorable, so that participants in the President's Tailgate will not be forced to sip their beer in 40-degree temperatures in driving rain.
Ye football gods, we know that you have a sense of humor. We ask, if only for this week, that you laugh at the expense of some other team. Might we suggest some teams from the Big 10, the Atlantic Coast Conference, and the Southeastern Conference, leagues whose teams are fuller of hubris than of talent?
May our Cardinals reach six wins, so that we might join the other three or four dozen teams -- none of whom play home games in South Bend, Indiana -- that attain bowl eligibility during the 2007 season.
We, the members of the Cardinal Nation, do solemnly pledge never to take conference titles and BCS bowl games in nice venues for granted.
We promise to treat fans of opposing teams with respect and dignity, tempted though we might be to hurl back the beer, hot dogs, and all-purpose garbage that has been showered upon us in Lexington and Morgantown.
We shall never, ever forget that virtually all of our students at the UofL, including our varsity athletes, will go pro in something besides sports.
Remember us in these times of hardship, and we in turn shall keep your gametime sacraments:
We shall not run up the score on a defeated opponent.
We will kick extra points early and go for two late.
We shall honor the offensive line, mindful that one quarterback on his feet is worth two on their backs.
In the name of the University of Louisville Cardinals, and all that is good and holy in college athletics, we humbly ask these things. Go Cards!